I’ve been quiet lately, not because I’m not talking or thinking or wondering or dreaming. Not for any other reason than I simply haven’t made time to write. But I am making that time now.
I feel I must.
I have points to make, things I want to share, topics I want to discuss.
This year, I’ll be peeking my head out from behind the clouds of parenting again. This year, I’ll re-discover that woman in me that is both quiet and calm, bold and brave, all the while balancing this thing called life.
Root to Rise
This is where I am.
Prior to having children I considered myself a mindful person. I read books about mindfulness, had a mediocre meditation practice, and felt present when talking with people.
Since having children, time has literally been stripped away from me. It’s as if children take you down to the very basic essentials of living, you manage to eat, sleep a little, and shower on rare occasions when you need to see someone outside of your immediate family. But all the other non-essentials seem to get stripped.
In a way, it’s a good thing.
You find out what matters. All those things that you had on your to do list that will now never be done, didn’t need to be done in the first place. The noise of the news that can spiral you down into a depressive state, doesn’t need to be heard. The drama and chatter of other people, well there’s just not enough energy to participate in stuff like that.
On the flip side, some of my essentials went missing. The ones that keep me grounded and present, like meditating, having deep conversations with people, and volunteering. Those are the things that I miss. These are the things that matter to me.
This year I must return to my roots
… to be grounded in the midst of chaos
… to find calm when my child dumps a box of toys that I just cleaned up moments before
… to be patient instead of pissed when my children do not want to comply with my need to be timely
… to meditate
… to slow down
… to reconnect with friends and those that I haven’t carved out enough time for
… to feel myself in my own skin again
… to remember the gift of who I am and what I have to offer in this world
And so with that, I am ready to RISE.
As I root myself in the place and state of my every day life, I search for the strength to rise through this time, when my time is not all my own, when I am pulled in many directions, but through it all, I will make the time, find the energy, and have the courage to pursue and persist for those things that feed my spirit, light a fire in my belly, and make me who I am.
Without this rising, I could one day wake up to realize I’ve lost those things about me which made me—me. My children could know a mom who doesn’t even know herself; my husband could have a wife he didn’t marry.
And so I commit to root to rise, and within that to dive deeper than ever before into a year of community and connection.
I plan to put myself out there more (writing, blogging, showing up), yet in other ways, I plan to turn my life more inwards (putting away my phone, meditating, being present with my family).
I hope you will follow me on my journey as I share more of myself, the meanderings of my mind, my shortcomings, and my gifts.
I’m excited to see “root to rise” take formation for me, not just for this year, but for every year moving forward.
What are you dreaming about for this upcoming year?